'I know you only invited me in for a coffee, but' was commended in the 2018 National Poetry Competition.

From the judges: "I loved this poem straight away and found myself laughing out loud at its sarcasm, humour and sharpness. It is melodramatic , whilst disguising its drama with this factual, understated tone, and finishes with a flourish with that wonderfully dismissive last line." - Kim Moore

I know you only invited me in for a coffee, but

by Natalie Shaw

I have eaten your house
Our children were playing inside

I say playing – actually your child
Was ignoring my child in a meanish, unkind sort of way

Anyway I have eaten them now
So it is irrelevant that your child is not a kind person

I ate your 4×4 too
Even though I cannot drive

I am better than M. Mangetout –
Rather than getting to work on, say, a hubcap

I just swallow these things whole.
How will you drive the streets of Dartmouth Park now?

I am breathing fire and a bit too busy to help.

The Poetry Society was founded in 1909 to promote “a more general recognition and appreciation of poetry”.  Since then, it has grown into one of Britain’s most dynamic arts organisations, representing British poetry both nationally and internationally.  Today it has more than 4000 members worldwide and publishes The Poetry Review.

With innovative education and commissioning programmes and a packed calendar of performances, readings and competitions, The Poetry Society champions poetry for all ages.

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keep those left handed poems coming - email at [email protected] for submission details @PoetrySociety @GloPoeFest @Cheltpoetrysoc Retweeted by The Poetry Society

If you're in London next Wednesday 18th, please come hear some poems about Super Mario and other marvels by @KofTheTriffids & @JaneYeh3 twitter.com/PoetrySociety/… Retweeted by The Poetry Society

Have you booked your ticket yet to our reading this Wednesday evening featuring star poets Kirsten Irving, Jane Yeh, and Stephen Sexton? It's going to be an excellent evening - don't miss out! poetrysociety.org.uk/event/national…

test Twitter Media - Have you booked your ticket yet to our reading this Wednesday evening featuring star poets Kirsten Irving, Jane Yeh, and Stephen Sexton? It's going to be an excellent evening - don't miss out! https://t.co/p8Wrcqm0Pw https://t.co/EjoPOJ9TJ8

There's less than 48 hours to enter 3 of our 4 August challenges! Write a poem this weekend - why not? - and enter our comps for free: 🌟Photographic poems: bit.ly/19augchall1 🌟How-to poems: bit.ly/19augchall2 🌟Meta poems: bit.ly/19augchall3 Good luck! RT Retweeted by The Poetry Society

Thanks to all judges of the BBC Proms poetry competition. I’m still on a poetry high and floating around in a beautiful poetry cosmos! ⁦⁦@IMcMillan⁩ ⁦@Malikabooker⁩ ⁦@PoetrySocietyRetweeted by The Poetry Society

This tweet is to announce the launch of Ours Poetica, a new YouTube channel about poetry that we're doing with @PoetryFound. Also, check out the first word of every tweet I've tweeted for the last two weeks. 😎 youtube.com/ourspoetica Retweeted by The Poetry Society

Poetry Surgeries @PoetrySociety are really productive hours. I'll spend time on your poems in advance, reading them closely and then we can chat at the lovely cafe about how to move your work forward. Three slots left for my session on Friday October 18th poetrysociety.org.uk/event/gossoct2… Retweeted by The Poetry Society

Come on all you young translators out there. Can;t wait to see what you can do @PoetrySociety twitter.com/youngpoetsnet/… Retweeted by The Poetry Society