New ‘poem tax’ will kill poetry, says Laureate

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The Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced a massive increase on the cost of poetry books which he hopes will bring in much needed revenue for the book industry. “It will be major boost in what everyone must admit are difficult times”, he said.

Under the new proposal, the price of poetry books, or ‘collections’ as they are known by poets, will quadruple from an average cost of just under £10 to over £40, putting them outside the price range of most poetry enthusiasts. It’s predicted that hard-back versions will cease to exist.

“The average cost of a sonnet will be a pound!” says the Professor of English at Lincoln University, Angela Runnelly. “The only free poetry an ordinary person can get is either Poems on the Underground, if they are lucky to live in London, or from their local libraries… if they still exist!”

“This move will undoubtedly kill off poetry” said the Poet Laureate. “It’s tough enough out there as it is for poets. I imagine they will have to turn to writing short stories and novels to have any chance of making a living. It’s a ghastly situation.”

“It’s unbelievable” said a Poetry Society spokesperson.

1 April 2019